Since Lullah entered our lives I simply can not really remember a time she was fully well, But near the end of last year it reached it's peak. It seemed to start with her normal cough runny nose and belly problems which has been on going what feels like forever, it then proceeded to nights awake with her coughing until she nearly passed out and not being able to breath properly. my anxiety was so high I spent many nights on the bedroom floor at the foot of the bed with pure fear she would either choke or stop breathing. As time went on it continued to progress and now Lullah was coughing all through the day time to! including coughing up white bubble like Flem leading on to her throwing up 5-6 times a day. Every week we were seeing the GP's twice to be told the same old shit... Viral Infection, just a cold, Throat infection (boring!). Three nights I spent holding her up asleep just so she could breath. Back to the Dr's we went I was nearly in tears saying this has been going on two months shes so poorly and I mentally can not cope with this anymore it was now making me ill its so stressful watching your child suffer and being so anxious they may just stop breathing, This Dr had no sympathy and said well other parents put up with sleepless night longer than two months, lets just say I had to leave on my own accord before the lack of sleep food and energy mother released her wrath on his overpaid arse! He clearly dismissed us and could not care less.
Decision time with a quick brain storm.
The last few months got very tense in my life, nothing dramatic I just had a hell of a lot going on. Being a mother whilst studying and also working I found very difficult OK not just difficult emotionally painful is more what it was. Drowning in assignments with exams coming out my ears a washing pile taller than me and my children just wanting to spend time with me made it difficult to find a balance. Having said that I made it out the other side I have finished college with amazing results better than I thought I would ever achieve Im pretty proud of myself. Sadly I didn't achieve my maths and have given up pushing myself for this year, Im going to concentrate on maths for a whole year next year and let myself breath a little before throwing myself into uni.
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